Sharing - 7 Habits Of Great Parents

~ Posted on Friday, January 1, 2016 at 5:59 AM ~

I came across this article which I must definitely share with you guys as I'm very interested to know your thoughts on this. Do note that sharing this does not mean I agree or disagree with it. For your convenience, I have copied the excerpts from the article here:

Kids are fabulous — but frustrating. If you're like most parents, you desperately want to be a great mom or dad and do the right thing. But it’s so hard to know what’s right, and often what appears "right" seems almost impossible to do. (Prime example: staying calm. Please, show me one parent who manages to stay calm all the time!)

 But you know what? Good parenting doesn’t have to be rocket science. As a parenting coach and mom of two myself, there are a few tried-and-true tips that I find work well for almost every parent. Here are the seven simple things that every great mom and dad knows to do:

7 Habits Of Great Parents

 1. They show their anger (the right way).

You’re allowed to get angry. Really. What actually matters is how you display that emotion.

The key to getting this "right" is knowing the source of your frustration. For example, think about those times when you arrive home and have to get dinner on the table and everyone is tired and cranky. It’s always then that the kids keep interrupting and wanting your attention.

But the problem isn’t the kids' interruptions — it’s the workload. So in times like these, instead of barking back at my daughters, I try to explain, “I’m sorry, I can’t look at that now. I’m frustrated that we’re late, and I’m trying to get sorted out and get dinner ready.” This way they know it’s the situation — not them.

2. They wait to dish out consequences.

Many experts say you need to respond immediately when your kids misbehave. But I think it's pretty poor advice.

If you don’t know what to do, it’s perfectly fine to say, “I don’t know how to handle this right now. I’ll get back to you.” You can even say, “I’m so angry I can’t think straight. I’m going to deal with this when I’m calmer.”

In my own parenting, I find that I feel better about myself when I give a considered response rather than a knee-jerk reaction. My kids also get a more powerful message when I have well thought-out consequences and am able to deliver them calmly.

3. They focus on quality time.

You don’t need perfect "work-life balance" — but you do need daily one-on-one time with each child. Even just five minutes of quality time every day can turn your relationship around. For example, my older daughter used to be very challenging. She would constantly provoke me and tell me that Daddy was her favorite.

But when I started spending regular time with her every day, doing an activity of her choice, we became much closer. She transformed from someone who worked against me to someone who wanted to please me. We felt closer to each other, so our behavior changed. We both became kinder and more understanding toward each other. It was truly amazing.

4. They hug their kids when they're being horrible.

When children behave hatefully, it’s because they feel awful about themselves. So they end up provoking other people to behave hatefully toward them. They feel that’s what they deserve. But if you do the opposite, they change. That's why when my daughter lashes out and is mean to everyone, I take her aside. I wrap my arms around her and ask her what’s wrong, and she melts. She has a cry, lets it all out, and tells me what's bothering her. Then we move on.

5. They don't solve their kids' problems.

Raising independent, self-reliant children requires that they make their own mistakes and solve them on their own. So, when your child tells you a problem, empathize — and then hand it back.

When my kids tell me about something they're having trouble with, I bite my tongue to stop myself jumping in and saving them. Then I say something like, “Oh no, that sounds upsetting! What are you going to do?” If they ask for my advice, I say, “I don’t know what you should do, but I can give you some ideas.” After each idea I say, “How would that work for you?” That allows them to think through the consequences and take ownership of the solution.

6. They don't overanalyze.

It’s fine to think about situations and establish what you can learn from them. But sometimes our mind gets a little obsessed and repeatedly churns things over, on an endless, self-flagellating loop. We end up analyzing a situation to death.

When this happens, I recommend telling yourself "thank you, mind" and then moving on to other things. It’s a little like a reset button that allows you to acknowledge the thought and then continue on with your day.

7. They keep compliments simple.

The most powerful thing you can say to your kids isn't "I love you" — it's “I love you just the way you are." And yes, those last five words are critical.

The first time I told my older daughter that I loved her just the way she is, her eyes went huge. She said, “Really?” and I nodded. She looked visibly relieved, and then she melted — it was lovely. It was clearly a very powerful message.

Best of all, we can all use this powerful technique on our kids, as often as we like. Give it a try and see the look on your child's face.

 

What do you think?


** Note: I have disabled the commenting feature on my blog engine thanks to all the spammers who happily spam my blog every day. If you wish to ask me any questions, you can find me at my Facebook page (I'm there almost everyday) or just drop me an email if you wish to maintain some anonymity.

Sharing - Easy Ways Parents Can Encourage Kids to Write

~ Posted on Thursday, December 24, 2015 at 6:01 AM ~

I came across this article which I must definitely share with you guys as I'm very interested to know your thoughts on this. Do note that sharing this does not mean I agree or disagree with it. For your convenience, I have copied the excerpts from the article here:

While many parents build special time for reading into family life, we don’t all do the same for writing. I believe we should. Why not call these times "read o'clock" and "write o'clock", the way I do. Don’t worry about what time precisely to do this. It doesn't matter WHEN we fit reading and writing into each day, so long as we do.

We need to make sure our kids know that writing is important and an activity we value. That means ensuring they see us writing, whether that be a grocery list, a note for a friend, or a recipe we're creating. Little ones will want to copy us right then and there, so it’s a great idea to have some writing materials available especially for them.

Before children start school, writing is mostly scribble with some letters thrown in, and maybe a picture for good measure. This is an important stage for kids. They gradually become aware of words and letters in their environment, and often want to copy what we write. Having kids write their own grocery list when we shop together is a great way to include writing AND make a shopping trip fun. Food clip art can help them make a list, and they get to cross off items as we shop.

As children master the early stages of writing, it’s important to keep write o'clock going. It's a good idea to be alert to opportunities that call for writing. Birthday party? Invitations and thank you cards. Kids nagging for something? Have them present their ideas on paper. Camping holiday? Lists galore! Often youngsters will have their own interesting ideas for writing activities, but if not, here are some more suggestions:

* Help children create a comic strip, perhaps using software, or an online editor.

 * Write a letter to someone real or imaginary, persuading them about something. Maybe your child might want to persuade The Big Bag Wolf to change his ways, or talk the Prime Minister/President into having more school holidays.

 * Take a photo or find an image and write a caption to accompany it.

* Create a character - with words, a picture, even act it out - and use this character in a story.

* Write instructions to explain something you know how to do, perhaps how to build something in LEGO, or how to blow up a balloon.

* Link writing with reading when that works for you. If kids are unhappy with the way a story ends, you might suggest they write a new ending. If they adore a book character, they may be thrilled to write more adventures for him/her. Some children will love the idea of recording all the books they read and writing a single sentence about each one.

Apart from the importance of regular daily writing, for however short a time, and having our kids catch us writing, here are some more tips. If our kids already have writing homework, that counts! I want children to enjoy writing as much as I do, and turning it into a chore won’t help. As much as possible, write o’clock activities need to be short and fun. Having special writing stuff like cute paper and pens, or being able to borrow Dad’s iPad, helps make daily writing time something children look forward to.

 

I personally would like to add that as parents, we can also make all the writing utensils and tools exciting and interesting for them. Get them colorful marker pens, highlighters, white erase boards, make it easily and readily accessible for the kiddos to use and write on whenever they want.

Easy Ways Parents Can Encourage Kids to Write

I also get our 6.5-year-old boy to write to a penpal. I looked for trusted parents in the FB groups I joined and exchanged addresses with them and get our boy to write whatever he fancies and mail it off for him. I use aerogram (50 cents for Malaysia) and it is easy and convenient as well.

Easy Ways Parents Can Encourage Kids to Write

What do you think?


** Note: I have disabled the commenting feature on my blog engine thanks to all the spammers who happily spam my blog every day. If you wish to ask me any questions, you can find me at my Facebook page (I'm there almost everyday) or just drop me an email if you wish to maintain some anonymity.

Sharing - Most Common Regrets in Life

~ Posted on Tuesday, December 22, 2015 at 5:09 AM ~

I came across this article the other day while I was on my usual bedtime news articles reading routine to our 3 kiddos. Had a great conversation with our oldest kiddo especially, explaining to him what does 'Regrets' mean and then further explaining and giving examples as we go through each of the items in the list.

Most Common Regrets in Life

** Note: I have disabled the commenting feature on my blog engine thanks to all the spammers who happily spam my blog every day. If you wish to ask me any questions, you can find me at my Facebook page (I'm there almost everyday) or just drop me an email if you wish to maintain some anonymity.