I'm a full-time mummy

Welcome to the February 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions With Other Parents

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.

As a mummy blogger, I do receive questions from other mummies with regards to breastfeeding, baby care, vaccination, parenting style and so on. I try my best to share my experience with these mummies and also explained the logic why we adopted such methods and so on. Now as a parent, we will surely meet with other parents who will not agree with our parenting style.

What this post does is how we can have respectful interactions with other parents though we might not agree with their parenting methods or style. Below are some of the things we do to be respectful to others despite disagreeing with others parenting styles:

* Focus on the things we agreed on

Rather than trying to defend or criticize further, we should focus on the things we agreed on. For example, when Ben started teething, my MIL tried to introduce the pacifier to him so that he can bite on it to relieve his teething. I do not agree with the use of a pacifier but rather than keep trying to explain and defend my points and reasons (I did initially!), I realised its just time wasting because other parents (especially old folks) are not easily swayed with our reasoning.

Why? They have been a parent long before you became one and most likely they have more number of children than you - hence more points for them to tell you to do what they say since they are older and they have more children than you. So, just agree to the point of 'Yes, Ben is teething, good for you to notice that too and I do agree we have to get him something to bite on to relieve his teething!' and we got him a teething toy instead of a pacifier.

And we're experiencing the same thing now, all over again with Alyson started teething recently, so I dug out the teething toy again and gave it to her the moment my MIL started mentioning about getting her to use a pacifier. War deflected...

* Learn from others

Though I may not agree with some of the advice given by others (such as my caring MIL), I do hope they meant well and not trying to put me down and make themselves feel superior. And as much as we would want to tell them to mind their own business, do try to see from their point of view and see whether there are any truths or logics in what they say.

Other than the above, there are many other methods which I read from the Internet which I would like to try on such as:

* Do not criticize or change the other parent's discipline in front of the child, nor undermine that discipline when the other parent isn't around.

* It is okay to acknowledge a difference of opinion, call a time-out, go off to discuss it, and come back with a joint solution.

So what about you?

How do you remain respectful despite disagreeing with others on a parenting style?

We were out grocery shopping on weekend and as usual, I'll be pushing Alyson in her stroller (ready to nurse her anytime, anywhere) and my hubby will be pushing Ben in the shopping cart.

This time round, we brought MIL along with us and she tagged along with hubby and Ben while I shopped for other stuff (like diapers, raisins for Ben etc) with Alyson. At one point when Alyson needed her feed, I told hubby I'm going out to nurse Alyson and told him to watch after Ben. And then we realised Ben was with MIL who was somewhere else...

I had to frantically looked for MIL (worried she'll get lost with Ben) while hubby looked at another place. As I was turning into an aisle, I saw a kid (about 10-11 years old) running around and almost knocked into Alyson's stroller.

And that's when I snapped...

In public...

I have not done so - ever...

I just yelled at the kid saying 'DON'T RUN!!!' as he braked and stopped just about 2-3 inches away from touching Alyson's stroller.

And yet, no sorry, nothing. He slowly backed off and walked towards his mother (few feet away) who I overheard telling him in Mandarin not to run.

I was so angry at the kid and his mother. I mean, supermarket area is NOT a place to run around.

Have you ever snapped at other children in public? If yes, what for?

Greetings from Malaysia!

Today I'd like you to join me in partnering with Dionna of Code Name: Mama, BirthSwell and Circle of Health International to improve maternity and newborn care in Haiti. Today I'm asking for your help. The help I'm asking you to give is very simple: you can donate $1.00. One little dollar. What can one dollar buy these days?

• A couple of postage stamps

• A bottle of water (maybe)

• Less than a third of a gallon of gas

• For Malaysians: The Star newspaper for the weekend

• For Malaysians: One of those kiddy-rides you pay for your child to enjoy a few minutes of ride
  

But if every person who subscribes to this blog gives one dollar, you can send an experienced midwife to HCM Maternity Clinic in Fond Parisien, Haiti, an earthquake-affected region. Your dollar can provide education and mentoring for the two Haitian midwives who work at the clinic. Your dollar can improve the maternity care for the 2,000 women seen at that clinic every year. Your dollar can improve outcomes for mothers and babies. Your dollar can save lives.

To read more about how your donations can help, please visit the full post at Code Name: Mama. I am helping Dionna of Code Name: Mama raise donations to Get Karen to Haiti. Click on the picture below to donate - please give at least $1 today!

Please visit the Get Karen to Haiti page to donate your dollar today!

** P.S: Just in case you're wondering, I donated too and although I'm from Malaysia, I don't think which country we are located at, matters or differs. If you are a mother, you will understand and appreciate good maternity care and want the best for your child.