Sharing - Warning Signs That You’re Raising a Spoiled Child

~ Posted on Tuesday, December 8, 2015 at 5:52 AM ~

I came across this article which I must definitely share with you guys. Do note that sharing this does not mean I agree or disagree with it. For your convenience, I have copied the excerpts from the article here:

Whining, pouting, all-out tantrums — are these telltale signs of a spoiled child, or just typical behaviors of a kid? It can be hard to tell the difference, so take a look at your own parenting tactics to see if you’re inadvertently spoiling your child. Do you recognize any of these warning signs?

Warning Signs That You’re Raising a Spoiled Child

You’ll do anything to avoid a temper tantrum.

Saying “fine” to a third cookie just to avoid a meltdown, even when you know it’s a bad idea, only teaches your child that they can have anything they want, whenever they want it. Even worse, you’re reinforcing bad behavior. Giving in after they throw a fit just confirms that throwing a fit is the fastest way to get their own way.

You resort to bribery.

Telling your kid that they can have a treat if they clean their room or do their homework is bribery, plain and simple. As a parent, you should be able to issue directions to your children that they follow, no questions asked. Resorting to bribery teaches your child to expect something in exchange for everyday chores. It’s a slippery slope to your child negotiating with you on everything: eating dinner, going to bed when it’s bedtime, even going to school.

You make empty threats.

“If you don’t put that down, we’re going home right now,” you tell your kid. But the truth is, you need to finish grocery shopping, and you’re not going all the way home without milk! It’s an empty threat because you’re not going to follow through. And your child probably knows it. That makes it easy for them to dismiss you and keep doing what they’re doing.

You’re inconsistent.

There are always exception to the rule, but it’s important to stick to your guns if you want your children to understand what is and isn’t acceptable behavior. If you flip-flop on the rules, you’re teaching your child to test you every time because there’s a chance you may cave.

You step in so your child doesn’t get upset.

No one likes to see their child disappointed, but disappointment is a fact of life. If you give your child a choice of two small toys, and they instantly regret their decision when you leave the store, don’t go out of your way to fix the problem just to avoid the tears and tantrum. You’re depriving them of learning valuable coping skills. Another scenario is swooping in to the rescue when your child messes up. If they forget their homework folder or hurt a friend’s feelings, don’t protect them from what can be a valuable learning moment. Remember, everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes, it’s how we learn best.

You don’t curb interruptions.

Interrupting someone is rude, no matter how old you are. Letting your child interrupt you when you’re speaking to someone else without correcting them and explaining what to do instead does them no favors. Try: “I’m speaking to your grandma right now. When I’m done, it will be your turn to speak.” Patience is a virtue, after all.

You overwhelm with “stuff.”

It’s a lovely feeling to treat your child to gifts and goodies. But think about the message you’re sending when you constantly supply new toys, clothes, books, electronic gadgets, and anything else your child wants. You’re building a direct link between happiness and material goods, and you’re also setting your child up to have unrealistic expectations. Instead, try connecting with your child in more meaningful ways. Instead of shopping trips, do things together that will create memories like fishing trips, bike rides, visits to a museum, or just an outing to the park.

You don’t reinforce the concept of gratitude.

Teaching your child to thank others isn’t just polite. Gratitude is an important concept that children learn best when it’s modeled every day. Thank people yourself, and remind your child to do the same. And don’t limit gratitude to saying thank you. Show your child what it means to be grateful for your blessings, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised when they begin to echo the concept.

Your life revolves around your child.

It’s not bad parenting to incorporate your child’s opinions into family decisions. But letting them dictate every decision — from a restaurant choice to bedtime to chores — is a recipe for disaster. As the parent, you should have the final say. And you should be able to express your decisions without fear of backlash from your child. Giving your child too much authority tips the power balance. And when they don’t get their way, they’re likely to respond with whining, tears, and tantrums.

These are all examples of permissive parenting, and the result is often a spoiled child. Giving in to avoid being embarrassed, or because you feel guilty that you work so much, or because you don’t want to deal with another tantrum is the easiest thing to do.

But it establishes a pattern that’s hard to break, and it ultimately does your child a great disservice.


What do you think?

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