I'm a full-time mummy

On this exact date, around this time 2 years ago, I was in the bathroom. Getting nervous, unsure whether I'm doing the right thing... or doing it right... I've been hiding this secret from my hubby for a couple of days, and I've finally gotten the courage to do it and any minute now, I'm going to find out...

Tick * Tock * Tick * Tock * Tick * Tock *

Yeap!

TWO LINES!   IT'S POSITIVE!!

(*Btw, this photo was taken on 11th July 2008 cos I only remembered to do so the next day hahaha...)

I was excited, am not sure whether I should scream (and immediately decided not to as I'm still in the bathroom) and quickly planned how I should break the news out to hubby. As I was  thinking, I quickly cleared up all the box and instructions that came along with the pregnancy test box. I've been dreading the trip to the pharmacy from the day before to buy the pregnancy test, not because I don't want to get pregnant, heck, we've been trying for 3 months by the way. Anyway, I dread the pharmacy trip to get the pregnancy test kit because I was super duper shy and nervous. You have no idea how long I spent walking around the pharmacy, thinking which brand I should get, is it effective, is it time to use one (I mean, I was just a day late from my regular menstrual schedule), am I overreacting and is the pharmacist going to give me a weird look for buying one? In the end, I just grabbed the cheapest one and quickly pay and rushed out.

So on this date, around this time 2 years ago, I finally sneaked the pregnancy test kit into the bathroom with me, took my shower and did the test. Peed  into the container provided in the test kit, use the syringe and squirted some of the piss onto the stick and waited. And then got myself all nervous thinking, should it be the first few drops of piss or the mid stream or the last few drops? And will the food I had earlier interfered with the test results? Am I doing something stupid here?

And then the results appeared. And I forgot all my nervousness. Looking at that 2 lines, I told myself 'Oh gosh... I'm a mummy now!' I almost wanted to cradle that test stick and then I realised it had my pee on it. So anyway, after clearing up all the mess and cleaned up the test stick, I went out and waited for hubby to settle down. He was resting on the bed waiting for his turn to take his bath, so I asked him 'You want to see something?' then I showed him the stick. He was excited seeing the results cos we're officially now stepping into another level in our lives.

We're bringing a new life into the world.

(*Picture of Ben at 3 months old with me)

The rest as you all know, are history. Our dearest precious darling son is now 16 months old, he has mummy's eyes and mouth, daddy's ears and nose, and grandpa's big feet and height. Of course with my menses coming back into my life after 25 months (of bliss without one!) it also means I'm fertile again. Of course, we've been hearing family members and friends asking 'So when's the next one coming?' and I'm like not answering... sigh.... I don't know, for me, when I have the next one, Ben is going to have to stop breastfeeding soon and I don't want that. Am not going to rush into having the next one yet until Ben is a bit older, perhaps 2 years old+ or something...

This post may be a little bit too much information to be shared with you all, but it's my blog. I want to write it down.

After over two years since I started getting pregnant in June 2008, gave birth to Ben in March 2009 and now, July 2010... 9th July 2010 to be exact, I'm getting my 1st ever period after 2 years plus. I dread this day, not because of the pain or cramps or pimples or moodiness that comes along with it. Don't get me wrong, prior to being pregnant, I was regularly being very happy when I get my period. Not sure whether my hormones are normal or not but yeah, I was happy instead of being moody like most women.

And now, 2 years plus, or I think to be exact, 25 months on... I am getting my period. I am sad cos whenever I read any mother's blog post about getting period, it means they have weaned. But I have NOT weaned yet, and still it felt like that way.

I am still breastfeeding Ben since the day he was born, 16 months on now... and yes, not a speck of formula powder in the house at all since day 1. I'm not sure how long I can breastfeed on. I hope this period doesn't interfere with the breastmilk. It has always been my wish to breastfeed Ben for as long as he wants, and I don't want to be the one to stop it.

According to this website:

"Almost anything is considered normal when it comes to your periods while breastfeeding. All women experience a time of postpartum bleeding following birth which is not considered a menstrual period. If bottle-feeding, most mothers will have their first real period not long after this. Breastfeeding, however, suppresses menstruation at least for a while. For some mothers, there may be an absence of menstruation for weeks, months, and even years while still breastfeeding. Some mothers will even need to completely wean before they see their first period. Others, once their babies begin taking supplemental foods or sleeping longer periods at night, will see the first period. Once menstruation returns it may continue to be irregular during lactation. It's not uncommon to have a shorter or longer than normal period while breastfeeding. It's also not abnormal to skip a period or see the first period return and then find that months pass before the next one.

When the first period returns depends upon several factors: how frequently the baby is nursing, how often the baby is supplemented with bottles, whether or not the baby takes a pacifier, how long the baby is sleeping at night, whether or not solids have been introduced, and the mother's own individual body chemistry and the way it responds to hormonal influences associated with breastfeeding. Any time the stimulation to the breast is decreased, especially at night, menstruation is likely to return soon after.

When menstruation does return, you should consider yourself fertile and take precautions against pregnancy if desired. Some women consider their first period as their "warning period" that they are now capable of becoming pregnant. However, it IS possible to become pregnant before the first period returns, although quite rare.

The return of menstruation does not mean the end of breastfeeding. The milk does not sour or "go bad" when you are having a period. The milk is no less nutritious when you are menstruating than when you are not. Some women do notice a temporary drop in milk supply in the days just prior to a period and for a few days into one. This is due to hormonal fluctuations. Once the period begins and hormone levels begin to return to normal, the milk supply will boost back up again. Most babies can compensate well for this temporary drop in supply with more frequent nursing.

Nipple tenderness occurs for some women during ovulation, during the days before a period, or at both times. Some mothers report a feeling of antisiness while nursing at these times, too. As with the drop in supply this is also hormonally influenced and therefore temporary.

Some babies may detect a slight change in the taste of the milk just before a period, again, due to hormonal changes. These same babies may nurse less often or less enthusiastically during this time as a result."

Okay, I am comforted by these few statements:

* The return of menstruation does not mean the end of breastfeeding.

* The milk does not sour or "go bad" when you are having a period.

* The milk is no less nutritious when you are menstruating than when you are not.

Currently, Ben nursed about 2-3 times during daytime (I nursed him to sleep for his daytime naps) and about 2-3 times also at night when he sleeps (he dreamfeeds - meaning, breastfeeding while still asleep). I can count with 1 hand the number of times he uses a pacifier (we don't encourage the idea of using one anyway, just that MIL insisted to use it and failed...).

Oh, I do hope I can breastfeed as long as possible. I really really dread to think the bond is going to be broken one of this days... I love breastfeeding Ben!

Ben, mummy promise you, mummy will try her very best to breastfeed you for as long as it takes. If one day mummy has no more breastmilk for you, please know that it doesn't mean mummy loves you less. (After all mummy quits her job so that she can breastfeeds you!)

Yeah you read that right! Finally I can use this post to answer people who like to ask me why I often dressed Ben in pink clothings and not get shot with weird looks as if I concocted up an answer just to reply them. Oh well, before I stumbled into these articles, I just want to explain that I think Ben's complexion is better enhanced when he wears pink shirts. And I am not the type that goes by pink is for girls, blue is for boys.

So without further adieu, in this round of "Today's Awesome Discovery", I would like to share with you the following excerpts from this 2 posts:

Post #1: http://www.colormatters.com/colors_pink.html

"In almost every culture, one stereotype emerges: pink is associated with girls, blue with boys. Unfortunately, there is no consensus of opinion on its origin.

According to Jean Heifetz, for centuries, all European children were dressed in blue because the color was associated with the Virgin Mary. The use of pink and blue emerged at the turn of the century, the rule being pink for boys, blue for girls. Since pink was a stronger color it was best suited for boys; blue was more delicate and dainty and best for girls. And in 1921, the Women's Institute for Domestic Science in Pennsylvania endorsed pink for boys, blue for girls. (When Blue Meant Yellow. pp. 20 -21)

One could argue that contemporary color symbolism confirms these associations. Blue is considered a calm, passive color, hence feminine. Red (pink derived from red) is considered active hence masculine.

On the other hand, the idea of associating blue with male babies may stem back to ancient times when having a boy was good luck. Blue, the color of the sky where gods and fates lived, held powers to ward off evil, so baby boys where dressed in blue. In Greece a blue eye is still thought to have powers to ward off evil. The idea of pink for girls might come from the European legend that baby girls were born inside delicate pink roses.

Another theory states that the sexual origins can be found in ancient China. At a time when certain dyes were quite rare, pink dye was readily available and therefore inexpensive. Since blues were rare and expensive, it was therefore considered to be more worthwhile to dress your son in blue, because when he married the family would receive a dowry."

Post #2: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/7817496.stm

"How different it was in the early 1900s, when blue was for girls and pink for boys.

The Women's Journal explained it thus: "That pink being a more decided and stronger colour, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl."

DressMaker magazine agreed. "The preferred colour to dress young boys in is pink. Blue is reserved for girls as it is considered paler, and the more dainty of the two colours, and pink is thought to be stronger (akin to red)."

What prompted the switch is unclear, but it had been made by the time Adolf Hitler ordered the classification of homosexuals. Those deemed "curable" were sent to concentration camps and labelled with a pink triangle. This suggests that by then, pink was associated with femininity.

But some commentators now believe pink dominates the upbringing of little girls, and this may be damaging."

Shocking huh?! I didn't even know of this before! But even if I have never come across these articles, I still love to see Ben wearing pink clothings.

He just looks absolutely handsome and dashing in pink! Don't you think?

Ben @ 8 months old...

Ben @ 9 months old...

Ben @ 16 months old...