Willy and Down Part OR Penis and Vagina?

~ Posted on Monday, April 22, 2013 at 7:57 AM ~

Oh boy... I never know this topic would spark such reactions from my FB page! Last Friday, I shared a conversation I had with my 4 years old boy about penis and vagina and right after I posted that conversation on my FB page, the comments (negative at first) started pouring in...

*** Btw, please note that I normally blog few days to 2 weeks in advance so the date and time on the screenshots you see in this post are captured earlier on 19th April 2013.

Penis and Vagina

So, like I said, the first few comments pouring in were not so discouraging... in fact, some are saying that my 4 years old boy is too young to be knowing this and being taught about this. To be honest, I was shocked to read comments like these... 

You see, being a Chinese born and living in one of the Asian countries (Malaysia to be exact), we are not exactly taught to be so open-minded about the birds and the bees, about how we get our menses etc etc. When I first had my period at 13 years old, my late mum did not explain to me why I was suddenly bleeding down there (I was so scared I was dying but more scared to ask what's happening) and she just took out a sanitary pad and slapped it onto my panty and went on with her daily home routines. I found out bits and pieces about menses few months before from a primary school friend who had her period then but I do not know what to expect and how it would be. Until I got it myself.

So back to penis and vagina.

At first I was feeling down, reading those negative comments shooting me for teaching my boy all this stuff at such an early age (seriously how old should a child be to be taught these things?) and so I replied with this...

Penis and Vagina

I almost wanted to delete the posting on my FB page but decided to write out my opinions on why I don't see anything wrong with what I'm doing... and then the supports poured in. Yay! Read on for more positive feedbacks...

Penis and Vagina

I like the humorous side of this feedback:

Penis and Vagina

And I appreciate and feel so touched by the support comments like these as well...

Penis and Vagina

If you want to read more on what other mums think about being truthful and just teaching the facts about the correct naming terms for our body parts to our children, do feel free to hop over to my FB post and scroll through all the comments in the thread (** Note that the negative ones are way at the bottom as comment with replies and likes get pushed up on top).

I personally learned a few extra things that I have never even thought of (the importance of me teaching my children about this!) such as:

Penis and Vagina

Seriously, I don't know about how the law is in Malaysia when it comes to child sexual abuse cases, but I never realised how important it is for our child to learn to name their body parts correctly until I started this FB post. Now, do know that it is very helpful and IMPORTANT for your children to know the names of their body parts as their statements will weigh more when they know the correct names of their body parts if they are victims of sexual abuse.

Penis and Vagina

Imagine your child's case being dismissed because your child does not know how to pronounce his penis or her vagina using the right words. Will you as a judge believe a child who tells you 'This man touches my down part?' Which down part? What does it mean?

Penis and Vagina

So, parents, remember it is VERY important to teach your child the names of their body parts correctly and not substitute them with baby words or etc etc.

Thank you again for all who left positive and encouraging comments in that humble (and really harmless) FB post of mine. Never had I imagined it would spark such reactions from my fans, on the bright side, I am happy to learn that many parents out there are on the same page as me and I pray and hope that more and more parents will come to a realisation that teaching our children (however young) the correct names for their body parts is NOTHING wrong and SHAMEFUL at all.

I'm a full-time mummy

How to Wean Your Breastfeeding Child...

~ Posted on Friday, April 19, 2013 at 7:58 AM ~

When I first got pregnant in late 2010, I panicked because my 2 years old boy was still nursing up to 4-5 times a day and ALWAYS before nap and bedtime. People around me keep telling me to quickly wean him off, else when he goes to nursery/daycare, he will have trouble then since he's used to my breasts. I also get people telling me that my breastmilk will be poisonous when I'm pregnant (old folks myth) so I actually started with reducing his nursing to before nap and bedtime.

What I did was, I replace the other feeding sessions with play and activities. We spend some time in the playroom, let him do some drawing or doodling, play his Lego, watch TV or iPad, anything to distract him from asking for his nen-nen (aka his breastmilk).

But honestly to tell you the truth, the only time I can rest during my tiring phase of pregnancy is when my boy nursed. I love that I can just lie down on bed with my bulging belly and let my boy suckle. I get my rest, he gets to nurse and comfort himself and we get to bond. Win-win situation, no?

I did however managed to cut down our feeding sessions to before afternoon naptime and bedtime but yes, I do occasionally let him nurse when he is fussy or having discomfort. I'm practising what we call the, 'Don't offer, don't refuse' method. You don't offer your child your breasts if he/she does not ask for it but you don't refuse him/her if he/she does ask for it.

In September 2011 when my girl came along, I had tandem nursing aversion for 1 month. I hated my boy so much when I got home from hospital with my baby girl. The moment my boy asked for his feed, I got so angry. Poor boy doesn't know why mummy is like that. Finally acknowledge I got problems in my head and tell my hubby and I even blogged about it. I felt a big relief after that cos it's all in my head and when my 2nd child is 1 month old, I got over the tandem nursing aversion and continued feeding both my kiddos. My boy, always before afternoon naptime and bedtime. My girl, on demand whenever she wants.

Slowly my boy will forget to ask for his feed when he sees me and my girl constantly nursing (I feed on demand) and sometimes when he asked for it, I will let him nurse. The last I asked him to suckle, he forgot how to do it. He was 45 mths old then ...

Now what I would suggest you to do if you are in the same situation, as in, you want to wean your child...

  • I'd go for gentle weaning if possible. Gentle as in, letting your child lead his/her way.

  • NEVER decide to wean when you are not in a happy mood. You might regret this decision later.

  • Go Google more on the 'Don't offer, don't refuse' method. I personally feel this method is more peaceful and gentle.

  • Slowly replace nursing time with other bonding activities to keep your child's mind off asking for feeds

  • Get your partner to accompany your child before bedtime.

  • You can do a count if you have to nurse your older child to sleep, probably count to 20 then tell him/her it's time to sleep.

  • I also patted my boy's back and gently rubbed his back to sleep, until today he needs one of my hand to be on his body/face - something like a comfort pillow for him to sleep.

I breastfed my boy throughout my 2nd pregnancy, tandem him with my newborn girl for 1 year+ and finally weaned him at 45 mths old. Maybe a tad too long for some people but I believe in letting my child lead his way. I am currently preggy with our 3rd child and is still nursing my now 1.5 year old girl and doing the same method. I'll let my child decides when they are ready to stop.

Me tandem nursing Ben at 3 years old and Alyson at 6 months old...

I have a beautiful breastfeeding journey with my 4 years old Benjamin and would never trade anything for it. I hope to repeat the same thing with my 1.5 years old Alyson now and continue on tandem nursing her and our 3rd child later if possible.

Picture taken of Benjamin nursing at 43 months old...

Here's wishing you all the best in your decision making and I hope you will have a memorable breastfeeding journey that you can treasure with your child for a long long long time!

Third Pregnancy - Then & Now...

~ Posted on Tuesday, April 9, 2013 at 7:32 AM ~

2 years ago (when I was pregnant with Alyson), I wrote a post about my pregnancy then and now and I'm recycling the contents of that post to include the 3rd pregnancy updates now.. hahah...

The table below is to recap and note down what are the differences between my pregnancy then and now...

Pregnancy in June 2008 - March 2009
Pregnancy in Nov 2010 - Sept 2011...
Pregnancy in Jan 2013 - now...
Working in IT line, constantly in meetings with users & vendors for the new IT system, apart from being in-charge of changing company's website & the legacy IT system
No longer working in IT line, a full-time mummy now catering to the whims & fancies of a 23 months old toddler who is ever so active and playful and cheeky.
A full-time mummy catering to the whims and fanices of a 4 years old boy and a 1.5 years old girl.
What's good then?
* A more fixed eating time, breakfast, lunch & tea time snacks are pretty fixed
* The availability of squatting toilets in the office allows me to practise my squats (which I read in some pregnancy article saying it helps with your contractions)
What's good then?
* Hopefully able to maintain regular eating times (as my schedule  is pretty much determined by Ben)
* No squat toilets in the house so have to make do with squatting as much as possible while playing with Ben, at the same time, ensure safety to ownself as well (as in not to be overly crazy while playing with Ben)
What's good now?
* Ben is fully potty trained before he turned 4 years old, so I've got one worries off my mind...
* Alyson is OK with pooping in a potty and a toilet seat though I have not officially potty trained her, but she does give me quite accurate signals a lot of times!
* Since March 2013, we have adopted a timetable, so eating, learning, playing, entertainment, etc are more fixed and not haphazard as it used to be...
Gone through 3 gynaes:
#1: Female gynae in a private hospital who we think is not capable & caring enough for her patients
#2: Male gynae in a private hospital (but has his own clinic) & who we think is capable & caring but  the charges are pretty steep
#3: Male gynae in a semi private hospital & who we think is capable, caring, soft-spoken & the charges are very low!
We wanted to go back to our gynae #3 but turns out he got promoted to be the dept head for O&G in Miri, Sarawak. So he's no longer in the semi private hospital anymore.

We are keeping our options open for other doctors in the same hospital though our current gynae check-ups are done at a private hospital.
We went back to our gynae in Putrajaya hospital, my first check up was done when baby is 10 weeks old. Next check up will be at 28 weeks pregnancy. Yay!
Complications during 1st trimester:
Do not experience any morning sickness at all

Complications during 2nd trimester:
Weight not going up, got scolded by 2nd gynae to top up food intake. Guzzled full cream milk on daily basis on top of going crazy with McDonalds' and Wendys few times a week.

Complications during 3rd trimester:
Blood pressure touching borderline. Ordered by 3rd gynae to go for alternate days for check ups on blood pressure. On my last gynae visit, was told I had low amniotic fluid and advised to go for induced or to be C-sect in a week's time. Thank God contractions started on the same day & I ended up having natural delivery.
Complications during 1st trimester:
The first 2 weeks, food looks good but when I eat it, it felt like a lump and very difficult to swallow and eat on. Had not been having any appetite when I see fried food.

2 months + now, no problems with any food, nothing that makes me giddy or nausea or anything though I've been regularly eating chicken rice with roasted pork slice.

Complications during 1st trimester:
The 2 months, food looks good but when I see it, I lost my appetite. The only thing that I wanted to eat for the 2 weeks are luncheon meat (I know, not healthy!) and luckily I found a substitute, which is salted chicken, a dish that my dear hubby taught me how to make.

And somehow this round, I bloat up real easily. Just drink a bit of water and I bloat up like I'm 6 mths preggy.

Tiredness was a definite thing this round, maybe because I've got 2 kiddos to handle this time, on top of learning, feeding, caring, blogging (which I've cut down loads of reviews and giveaways since) etc.
Have no idea what to expect in terms of breastfeeding
Breastfeeding? Bah... been there, done that... heck, still doing it!
Breastfeeding? Bah... been there, done that... heck, still doing it for Alyson! Ben weaned off at 45 months old, a happy journey I will always treasure in my heart. But this round, I have no worry about breastfeeding through pregnancy since I have done without any complications.
Have no idea what to expect during labor. In fact, totally forgot all about my breathing exercise!
Images and memories of 1st labor flashed back the moment home pregnancy tested positive...
Oh boy... I do get scared sometimes when I think back of my previous 2 labors...
Contraction 1cm at 12am
Contraction 4cm at 4am
Gave birth at 4.30am
Contraction 1cm at 6am
Contraction 8cm at 12pm
Gave birth at 12.30pm
No idea yet...
Natural delivery using Enthonox and had an episiotomy (4 stitches)
Natural delivery using Enthonox for few seconds and a slight tear due to gynae pulling out baby (4 stitches too)
Hopefully natural again... and no tearing...
Worries about Labor, breastfeeding, babycare
Worries about Labor, breastfeeding during pregnancy, baby care as Ben is around this time...
Not as worried since been there done that...

And just a couple more things to note that I will not be able to do in a few months time:

* Lie down on my front
* Be able to look at my feet (thanks to my hubby who kept telling me to enjoy looking at my feet now!)
* Wear my favorite short pants (no wait... I already can't wear it now!)
* Get up from bed as easily as I can now...

And the things I'm so NOT looking forward to in a few months time:

* Heavy belly
* Cramps on my feet
* Difficulty in breathing as the belly gets bigger
* Heartburn
* Itchiness around belly and/or thighs as belly gets bigger (skins stretching you see...)
* Stretch marks
* Swollen feet
* Clumsiness and being forgetful

Please wish me luck and I really need all the support I can get in making my breastfeeding during pregnancy works! And of course, most important is I have a smooth and safe pregnancy and delivery!

I have also made an extraordinary decision this round, will share when I received the items I ordered. I've already gotten my hubby's approval to do this, so hope to have my family, relatives, friends and you guys supporting me as well!

Thank you for reading, have a good week and God bless you!