Life With 2 Kids - Friends or Foes?

~ Posted on Monday, July 9, 2012 at 12:45 PM ~

One moment they happily stood next to each other...

And few minutes later...



But then I guess to Alyson, she thinks her big brother is playing with her but he's not! A lot of times I caught him trying to hit or push her. It is usually a light smack on her head or a gentle shove on her body but I'm trying my best to deter that. I think Ben is jealous of his baby sister and doesn't like the attention she is getting (I try my best not to be so affectionate to my girl in front of Ben)

Just yesterday during Ben's Sunday schools at church, I was chatting with one of the mummy in the class and her elder son is behaving like Ben too. Her kids are around my kids' age so we can totally relate and we nodded at each others scenarios! Sigh...

How do you get your older child to be gentle and be affectionate towards his/her younger sibling(s)?

Comments (6) -


I too have a 3 year old and a new baby 4 months old, so can so understand your situation. My 3 year old is super jealous of the baby, and once a while say he wishes the baby to disappear. He hasn't acted too much in violence though. I just try my best to assure him of my love for him and give him as much attention as I possibly can. It is not easy, sometimes it drives me nuts. Whenever I get angry or scold him for misbehaviour, he assumes it's due to the little brother. So now I have to be very specific when disciplining him by telling him what it is for. I think eventually they will get along but the tendency to be a little jealous will definitely always be there, as a mother I just need to be careful to be fair in all situations.

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Hi Leona!
Thanks for sharing your experience!

Sigh, my boy will push (not rough) or smack (again not rough) his baby sister but as much as I hate disciplining him for that, I have to do so and I will also do the same when Alyson smacks her elder brother (though I think she's being playful). I make sure I do it in front of my boy so he knows mummy is being fair to both of them and they both do not get special treatment. Naughty = Discipline!

That said, I do trust in my heart and know Ben loves his baby sister as there are few occasions we tested him where we (jokingly) told him we will pass Alyson away to uncle or aunty and he starts protecting his baby sister and cries for her! Tong

Jennifer Saarinen

Jennifer Saarinen says:

I have 2 girls, 3 and 8 and they are either the best of friends playing and laughing and loving each other and then a split second later a swear they are gonna tear each others hair out. I wish the peace lasted a bit longer. SIGH!!!

Jessie Hay

I have a very large family and my kids are encouraged to be gentle from a young age...and they know that if they hurt each other they will be sent to their rooms. Just be consistent and they get the message.
This works for us, though I'm not saying our kids are perfect...we still have to deal with this occasionally in our home.


My daughter was fine when my boy was born. No hitting or anything. But now that they're older, they hit each other when they quarrel. LOL. Sigh. Terbalik.

Miki Chua

mine is always the other way round, the 10mth old will always get jealous when i hug/play with the big bro. I don't know he want me or want the big bro.

i always see them playing together both chasing and laughing but most of the time end up the small start to cry coz the big bro accidently knock him or smack him. should i let them be or stop them from playing i always tot.

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