Stepping Back and Letting Go...

~ Posted on Friday, August 10, 2012 at 7:27 AM ~

This post is just a personal rant, so feel free to skip if you are not interested at all. I just needed to vent out my personal feelings and thoughts as it has been bugging me these few days and I think only by writing it out and putting it off my chest that I'll be able to find some closures of some sort to this.

A little bit info about me before I started my storytelling: I'm very passionate with matters related to natural birth, breastfeeding (exclusive, during pregnancy, beyond 2 years, tandem), hand expressing breastmilk, co-sleeping and anything related to baby care (as long as I have experience or read about it).

I shared my thoughts and experience with friends, ex-colleagues, relatives, strangers on the cyber world, mums-to-be, new mums, mums, dads etc whenever they asked me. Be it via personal emails through my blog, or via my Facebook page or via my blog posts, I shared without hesitations.

About 3 months back, I joined this group on Facebook, a group that is passionate about breastfeeding matters. Initially I was just commenting and sharing my feedbacks and experience. Then as and when I stumbled upon any articles on the web about breastfeeding topics, I also shared them (from my Facebook page) on this group. I also did that when I blogged about breastfeeding, tandem nursing or parenting topics on my blog here.

All in the name of sharing experience - this is all I wanted to do.

Sometimes I get my inspirations to blog when I read the questions posed by these mummies in the group. It got me motivated to write a post about the 5 Ds to Remember If You Plan to Breastfeed Your Baby which I shared it when I published the post.

Few days back, there are quite a number of new mums posted in the group about needing to supplement with formula milk and I decided to share the link to this blog post again on the group asking the new mums in the group to have faith in their body, to hang in there and not give in to supplementing with formula milk.

Some mums commented and asked questions and I happily shared my feedback on the same thread until one mum commented she can't view the link and can't help but wonder whether I am trying to sell things in the group as she keeps seeing the links being posted in the group (when I had only posted the same link twice in the group).

I was shocked at reading that.

To be frank, I was hurt.

Never in a million years I thought of selling anything in the group other than the ideas that breastfeeding is the best for our child and it takes a strong will and determination to go through the journey successfully.

And yet, because someone is not able to view the link (and did not bother to try again), they assumed I am selling stuff.

Long story short, I explained that I am not selling anything and the link is some tips I shared about breastfeeding. No more response from the person after that but yes, I do think I deserve an apology. Oh well...

But then, that got me thinking, maybe I've been a nuisance for sharing all these articles and info. Maybe I'm a smart aleck and people out there don't like it. Am I being over sensitive? Maybe, but I think it's time to stop being such a busybody to share and help when people just don't seem to understand my intentions and don't even appreciate it.

So, I have decided to take a step back, slowly cut down my interactions in the group and letting go of my passion to share info in that group. Oh, I also have some personal reasons why I think it is better for me to step away from this group. Personally I think the group is getting a bit too dramatic lately, to the extent that there are some cat-fights in some threads (I learned the term cat-fights via some private messages with the founder of the group as I sent her a message telling her briefly about my rant)

Nowadays the most I do is just click 'Like' when I see my friends sharing their experience and testimony in the group, other than that, I have refrained myself from being a smart aleck. Maybe one day, I'll click the 'Leave group' option. I think it is very possible.


Image credit: Google search

Although the group's founder told me "don't let one (or a few) insignificant people put you off wanting to help other people" and "as long as you are sincerely helping, it will pay off, and these negative people will somehow not be significant anymore", I think for the moment I am better off staying away from the heat and drama and silently nursed my bruise ego hahaha...

Yes, I'll still share info and articles on my Facebook page so if you don't like what you see on my page, feel free to click 'Unlike'.

But seriously, I have more important things to focus on now. Some other updates, I've also started my 11 months old girl on cloth diapers (not everyday though as I only have 4 inserts to use on her), also bought a baby sling to babywear my girl (will blog about it later if I can) and still clearing up tons of pending product and book reviews (16 on hand now!). And I'm also wishy-washy in a potential little project of mine... can't quite firm up whether I should go full steam ahead or not... hmmmm... (no, not baby #3 yet hahaha..)

So I don't think I should waste my precious time and brain cells on something that is not rewarding. There you go... Rants done. Sorry for taking up your precious time in reading this silly rant of mine.

Thank you for your support if you are still following my blog and FB page so far!

Comments (20) -


I do understand what you are going through. Like you, I am very passionate about many things, including breastfeeding (I even wrote a book! lol) and I love to share and in my own mind, help. However, I also wonder if that "help" may be viewed as being a smart alec or trying to promote our blog or pages. I guess I had better tone down too!

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Hi mumsgather!
Initially I did not share links to my blog posts but I find it too troublesome as I have to retype everything again and again when answering questions from mummies that I decided to just write it down in my blog and just share the links in my feedback, easy peasy. So yeah, maybe some ppl misunderstand it as trying to promote my blog huh...

Jaclyn Reynolds

Jaclyn Reynolds says:

You're doing a great job.  The person sounds a little paranoid, maybe they've been scammed before.  Thank you for being a great supporter of nursing moms.


some people just dont care when others try to do something like find articles, give advice etc. ive kinda given up on doing that stuff myself. so i dont blame you. just hang in there!

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Hi Jaclyn & Bianca!
Aww, thanks a lot for your comments & support!

Heather Bowles

Hi Jenny! Til tonight, you know I didn't even know your first name? =D

I really enjoy reading your Facebook posts, and I hope you'll continue to share there. The information you share is so valuable. I am no where near the point of needing to homeschool my child, but I am staying home with her, and considering keeping her home when it's time for school. The bullying phenomenon concerns me very much, and I'd like to eliminate as much danger from her life as possible. I consider it a concern that should be top priority among parents of school age children, and as unfortunate as it sounds, I don't believe most schools are willing or equipped to deal with the issue appropriately. FYI: I'mm a former educator of school age children in endangered populations, so that should give you some idea of where my perspective comes from. Smile

I'm passionate about cloth diapering, so if you need opinions on any brands or have concerns about treating rashes or absorbency issues, I'll be happy to share.

In reference to you pulling away from the breastfeeding group, I think it's a shame that the owner doesn't take a more active role in policing the naughty behavior out of her group. It only takes a few bad seeds and she may find that not just you are pulling away, but multiple moms will. Goodness knows that the breastfeeding period is stressful enough without having to endure the cattiness and nasty mouths of some "moms" who seem hell bent on making everyone around them as miserable as they are. Good on you for protecting yourself and saying "Enough is enough!"

catheryn @ pinkbibs

hi jenny
dont let those people get to you. some people are just bitter and insensitive.
you did it well and kind to want to share your experiences. thank you. keep it up.

psst.. 16 reviews pending ah? i can help. hehe!

have a wonderful weekend with loved ones.

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Hi Heather!

Oh wow, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
Here in Malaysia, I don't think the bullying is issues but more like parents are stressing their children out (outdoing each other maybe?) by sending their children earlier and earlier to schools! Some children take exams as young as 4 years old! I don't see how are they going to have a memorable childhood?! But back to bullying, I do agree that is very damaging to a child, be it physically or emotionally!

As for CD, so far my girl is not on them everyday, maybe now is every other day as I only have 4 inserts to use and have to wait for it to dry. If she's keeping up with this I'll consider getting more inserts Smile

As for the points of this post, I don't blame the founder of the group as there are over 7000+ members in the group and there are 4-5 admins moderating the posts everyday.

So yeah, as for my involvement in that group, enough is enough for now Smile

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Hey Catheryn!
Too late, kena shot... now gotta sit diam-diam nurse my wounds Tong

You also sit diam-diam and rest all you can la... ltr #2 come already will be super busy!

Tracy Poh

Hey Jenny,

I think I know which group you're referring to & yes, some of them can be very "drama" also. Anyway, do what you think is right. There are moms who are very passionate about motherhood but someone is being misunderstood.

Anyway, you're doing such an awesome job. Keep it up & we at TLS loves you!!!

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Hi Tracy!
Awwwww thanks for your comments! What is TLS ar?


Hey Jenny,

You're the one that introduced me to the breastfeeding group, and I still found it quite helpful!! Smile Don't waste time bother about one or two bad seeds, I usually just skip them.. But I'll try to go for the threads that needs help or encouragements.. Not to mention also I'm still learning from other more experienced mummies..

You have these valuable experiences which is so important for all the new mummies out there.. I've always hoped someone could have teach me all these when I started my BF journey (don't even know to use nursing pads end up getting my clothes n bras all wet!)

So I'd just go there, share my experiences, learn from others, and forget about random-nonsense I've encountered.. Smile So yea, just step back for a while from the group to get rid of the annoyed feeling.. Then when you are ready again, please come again to help other mummies.. Hope to see you there!! Smile

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Hi Careen!
Hahah, stepped away liao for now. I will still share but on my blog and FB page only lo.. Smile Thanks for sharing your feedback! ;)

Cynful Pleasure

Guess I can understand how you feel.. sometimes, when come to share some of our personal experience, I just put whatever sufficient, and try not to over provide.. some ppl cannot digest 'good' advice and may just turn table... should anyone has got any further question, I got them to write to me instead.. :p

Tracy Poh

Jenny, The Lil Stuffs ler...,my blog. Smile

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Hi  Cynful Pleasure!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I've done all those, typing just the necessary details (which lead to more questions and then I have to keep answering) which in the end, I decided to write in a blog post and share the link to the post instead of copy paste and retyping everytime I see the same type of questions.

I have also gotten ppl who asked me lots of questions to write it in a list and send it to me one shot instead of me having to answer one by one (which I may forget or overlook) but nope, no response anymore from there.

Hey Tracy!
Oh... noted, noted, thanks! Smile

Miki Chua

eeew~~~ that is terrible...
i understand your feeling (hurt) just trying to help but kena back fire.
well anyway.. u will get thos sincere and real friends on ur own page. those ppl there.. probably a just trying to promote themself are better than anybody.. so we just do what we think is right..

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Thank you Miki for sharing your thoughts! Smile


Oh no wonder I didn't see your posts in the group anymore. Btw dunno y the person is paranoid coz the group actually allows people to sell things, I even bought things from mums who posted products there that benefits other mums. But yea it's the community's lose if u quit!  Oh I'm aso passionate about cloth diapering and all things cloth, I even use cloth pads and cloth wet wipes! Hope u can be an advocate of that one day, not easy to start with your hands full, I know.

Jenny @ I'm a full-time mummy

Hi Leona!
I've left the group for now, see one day will join back or not la Tong

Comments are closed