We are expecting!

~ Posted on Wednesday, February 2, 2011 at 9:09 AM ~

(Image taken from Google search)

Yes, we are expecting our second child!

I'm going to be honest here as I believed I have never been this nervous and panicky the 1st time round. Maybe, because this time, we have Ben around and that I'm still breastfeeding him while being pregnant! Yes, I'm about to hit 23 months of breastfeeding in 2 days time.

Honestly speaking, I don't know anyone around me who breastfeed more than a year, let alone, one who STILL breastfeed while she is pregnant.

So all this is pretty scary to me as I can only sourced for information from the Internet and all those parenting and nursing mums groups on Facebook  (such as KellyMom.com, Code Name: Mama & The Leaky B@@b) and blogs around. Thank God for Facebook as I've managed to pose my concerns and get lots of feedbacks from mothers (thank you ladies!) who have successfully nursed through their pregnancies and I hope I'll be able to do so as well.

I've also ordered the "Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond" book from Amazon as it was highly recommended by lots of people, can't wait to receive it!

I mean, you guys who know me will know that I've always been saying that I will continue breastfeeding as long as Ben wants it and as long as I can still produce breastmilk for him, so being pregnant should hopefully not be an obstacle or an excuse to wean him off breastfeeding.

And while I'm at this topic, I'd just like to say to those people who have the idea that one MUST wean in order to try for their next child. Oh well, that is total crap. Please don't even believe that and deprive your child of your breastmilk. I don't, and I am glad I don't wean Ben just because of that. Do read up and research more if you want to find out the reasons for weaning during pregnancy (but NOT before!)

On the family side, my hubby has been very helpful and has been spending more time with Ben even though he's so tired with his work and all so that I could have some 'me' time and rest for a while. So yes, I'm very very thankful and grateful for his help. And you should've seen his excited look when I tested positive as he's happy that Ben is going to have someone to play with!

So anyway, that's all the updates from me for now. Just that I think I won't be blogging as frequent as I can as nowadays, I tend to rest when Ben takes his daytime naps and I go to bed by midnight nowadays (instead of 2 or 3 am previously), not to mention the early stages raging hormones which gives me mood swings and stuff. (But other than the rare occassions of mood swings, I am feeling pretty much OK, no other morning sickness).. But I will continue to update my Facebook page on daily basis. So you guys can keep in touch with me through my Facebook page as well.

(Image taken from Google search)

Please wish me luck and I really need all the support I can get in making my breastfeeding during pregnancy works! I've already heard the "How long are you going to breastfeed your toddler? You should stop already since you are pregnant now!" from the gynae we visited recently... sigh... so, yeah, I need all the positive support I can get to make this work! For now, I'm taking it one day at a time, as long as I can still breastfeed and there's no risk to the pregnancy, I'm going to go on as long as I can!

And of course, most important is, please pray that I have a smooth and safe pregnancy and delivery!

Thank you for reading this, for your support and prayers and all and God bless you!

Seriously...

~ Posted on Thursday, January 13, 2011 at 9:53 AM ~

Seriously folks...

I have no idea how many times I've said this, how many times I've explained this, and yet people still have the perception that just because I'm a SAHM, it means I stay at home all the time, that I get all the rest I can, that I'm the free-est person in the whole wide world, that they can just tell me to help them do things and stuff.

Seriously... I'm tired of all this crap.

I am human. I'm not a super woman.

I do get tired.

I do get sick (though I'd really prefer not to and I thank God my hubby and sometimes MIL helps out to take care of Ben when I'm sick).

I do sometimes wish I could go out and spend some 'me' time.

I do want to eat slowly and enjoy my food like how I used to even though it means I have to eat alone with no company.

People who are single, or are not married, or do not have any children or do not have experience taking care of a child (for at least one whole day), they think I get it very easy in life.

They think that I just sit at home, mop around, play with my boy all day long. ALL DAY LONG.

They think just because they freaking had to go to work and encounter and face clients, users, vendors, bosses etc etc that their life is worse than mine.

Seriously.

When YOU feel sick, you get to apply for leave and rest at home.

But what about me? What do I do when I fell sick? Do I get to apply for leave and rest at home ALL DAY LONG?

Seriously.

When YOU think you're so busy with work, please think that once you go home, your work is over (sorry if you're the type of people who brings work home)

And think that how you look forward to weekend so that you can relax and wind down after a hard week at work.

But what about me? When I'm overwhelmed with taking care of my boy ALL DAY LONG, do I get to go home (oh wait... I AM HOME ALL THE TIME!) and rest?

Do I get to look forward to weekend and all? Everyday is the same thing for us.

Seriously.

Think about what I had to go through before you go and make smart opinions of other people's life.

Especially a stay-at-home mum's life.

(Image taken from Google search)

You have no idea how 'FREE' we are at home 24/7.

You have no idea that even a 10 minutes shower is considered a luxury. (I normally shower with my boy to save time and so I don't have to worry he'll get into any mischief if I bath myself and when I do bath myself, I had to leave the bathroom door open so I can keep an eye on my boy)

You have no idea that even eating alone is a luxury.

You have no idea when you're at your most hungriest and yet you have to feed your child first,  and then have to juggle in watching after him as well when you finally get to eat your portion just so that he doesn't throw or cause a mess at the eating table.

So seriously...

The next time I fall sick, if you are not even caring enough to wish me a 'take care' or a 'get well soon' or 'take a rest' or 'drink more water', please just keep quiet and leave me alone.

I do not need to know your opinion that I have all the time in the world to rest since I'm a stay-at-home mum.

When I'm struggling to conserve my energy so that I really do not fall sick, I do not want to read or hear or know all this  opinions.

I really don't need to hear all this demotivating things at the moment when I should be resting and concentrating on getting well.

So yeah, go away if you've got nothing good to say.

Last birthday with my mum...

~ Posted on Monday, January 3, 2011 at 11:55 PM ~

I woke up this morning and saw my handphone showing a birthday reminder. If my mum is still alive today, she'll be 64 years old on 3rd January.

I still remember 4 years ago, I was at home, alone, praying for things to turn out fine. My mum was in the ICU at that time, her conditons slowly improving - she had kidney failure and was on daily dialysis.

It was just a few minutes after midnight on 3rd January and I decided to risk it (as in get ready to be scolded by the nurses for calling at such late hours). I called up the ICU department and asked the nurse to pass my birthday wish to my mum (she's sleeping that time) when she is awake. When I went to visit my mum later that day, I asked her whether the nurse passed her my birthday wish and she nodded. We didn't celebrate much, no cake, no card, just spending time together.

That would be my last time celebrating birthday with my mum. She passed away 8 days after that. She was and always will be the strongest woman and person I have ever known.

Ma, Happy birthday to you. I missed you so much...

* Image from Google search