I'm a full-time mummy

I just want to share a quote and lesson to you folks out there who are still in the working world on what to do when it's time to move on to another working place...

Last time, whenever I made a decision to move to another workplace, I always remind myself with the quote above. Even to my ex-colleagues or students (I used to teach a batch of students on programming in my first IT job), I told them never ever to burn bridges should they decide to leave and I always leave them this quote above.

You never know when you need help from your ex-company / colleagues and so on. I've always made it a point to maintain relationships with my previous companies. Granted, I may not have a lot of experiences in moving around companies, throughout my 9 years of working in IT line, I've only changed jobs 3 times.

Days ago, I received a Letter of Demand from one of my previous companies stating that I need to settle an X amount of money in lieu of my short notice of resigning from the company. I got the shock of my life as:

#1: I tendered the resignation in February 2008 and it has been over 2 years, and only now I get this letter?!

#2: I've already paid up the amount in lieu for the short notice before I left.

#3: I even have a photocopy of the cheque I issued to the company together with the HR manager's signature acknowledging that they have received my payment.

#4: As my BFF pointed out to me via MSN (I chatted with her on this issue), the company will not let me go had I not pay up the outstanding amount and they definitely will not release my last salary as well.

#5: I'm a full-time mummy now.. a SAHM.. how the heck am I going to pay that money? (Believe me,  at one point, I even thought of starting Ben on kneading and stamping out cookies dough and entertaining thoughts of selling cookies to pay off the amount)

So anyway, back to this case, I tried calling the HR staff to clarify the situation (and to point out that they indeed are making mistake) but I could only get to their voice mail. Frustrated, I asked for help in Facebook. I had a large number of ex-colleagues who are on Facebook as well, and true enough, within minutes, one of the section heads replied asking me what's wrong. I shared with her what happened, she even tried to contact the HR staff for me and soon, I managed to contact the HR staff and in the end, clarified the whole situation.

The case has been closed, the HR staff sent me an email (as black and white) to acknowledge that they have indeed received my money years ago and requested for me to ignore the demand letter. I could make a big issue out of it (after all the emotional stress and trauma they put me through, of having to dig through my boxes of paperworks and documents to find back the photocopy of my payment slip and all with an active and curious toddler around) but again, this quote came to mind.

So, dear friends who are still in the working world, when you are in a situation where you are / about to / have decided to make a switch to another place, do consider this quote. You never know, one day a helping hand will come back to guide you when you need it the most!

I am halfway reading the Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World book from Zig Ziglar (I love love love this book!) and I came across this part where Ziglar mentioned this lady (a SAHM) who gave a very good response when people commented that her brain should be put to better use in the working world instead of at home. Please take some time to ponder on the excerpts below taken from the book:

"For those mothers who are sometimes looked down upon by an ignorant or insensitive person because they have chosen to stay home and raise their babies, I love what Linda Burton, a mother of two, says when her working friends tell her that "her mind is too good to stay at home":

I'll second that and add that the most important, demanding and rewarding career a mother can have is to raise her kids positively in a negative world".

Oh I so, so, so, so truly agree with that. I used to think it's a waste of my talents and brain for quitting my job to be a SAHM but yeah... the best minds are required at home... by my own child. I always have the opinion that no strangers should raise my own child cos well, I give birth to my child and so, it is my duty to raise them up, not some strangers.

I am particularly fond of this Polish Proverb: "You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once." That's what I thought of when deciding to quit. I can always find some job later (if I want to) but my child grows up real fast and no time or money can replace that memories of being part of their life as they grow up.

* Image from Google search

So, back to this topic, I do agree that our mind is too good NOT to stay at home with our children! With that, I leave you with this short poem:

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

Btw, just want to let you guys know 2 years ago on this date, we found out we're expecting a baby boy! Now look at him, all grown up!

Some people go for holidays, some people go for massages, some people go for shopping therapy...

I'm not the type that goes for massages, I only had facial massage ONCE in my 30 years of life, hated it and I think it's a waste of my RM100 (around USD32+) and I've never did any manicure or pedicure in my life.

As for shopping, I window shop instead and then I find more pleasure in mumbling to myself 'how expensive that clothing is?! such rip off!' and etcetc. And when I do shop, I go for the bargain stuff, like three T-shirts for RM50 (around USD16+) or a nice comfy bra for RM10 (around USD3+).

I don't do cosmetic make-ups or fragrance too. ^{(**Please read a footnote below on cosmetics)}

Shoes? I only wear comfy sandals nowadays. I mean, as a SAHM I don't have to go out and about much. So a pair of nice comfy sandals is good enough for me.

Holidays? With Ben now, we don't really plan for any overseas trip within these few years, I mean, Ben wouldn't remember it yet. Local trips? Maybe, we're thinking of some eat all the way trip or something... still in the pipeline...

Come to think of it, I'm a simple person really (hubby is so lucky to have this low maintenance wife heheheh)

Anyway, back to the topic of pampering myself...

#1 - Books

I love books! Prior to having Ben, I think I'll be happy curling up on bed with a good book in my hand (and falling into sleep halfway reading sometimes hehehe). By good books, I meant, one of Stephen King's or Dean Koontz's books. I am such a fan of horror books. I could finish up a Stephen King book in a few hours time. In fact, I have almost the entire collection of his books, until Ben came along and that's when I stopped getting his books.

With Ben in our lives now, I think it's still the same. I still like to curl up on the bed and sleep/rest as long as I can, or just read a good book. But now, by good books, I meant, parenting books (mostly) or cookbook. I am also happy reading e-books (eco friendly!). No more horror books for me cos' I don't want to influence Ben into horror books at this young age, reading habits yes, but not horror books or monstery/ghoulish images (not that the books I read have it but the some of the cover page were) My good ol' horror books are all safely tucked in hubby's office room now.

Now, another thing I like to pamper myself or give myself the nice treat (to boost up my morale and spirits every now and then hehehe) is:

#2 - Eating

Ever since we have Ben and probably because I'm still breastfeeding this 19 months old boy, I love to eat! And I eat A LOT.

Recently when hubby and I were out for our family outing, I'm surprised and genuinely touched when hubby told me he'll bring Ben out to play or see stuff and let me enjoy my meal. Yes, it does look very odd and weird to be seen with baby chair and sometimes stroller around me and that I'm eating alone. But I really appreciate the gesture from hubby as most of the times, when we were out eating, we'll end up taking turns eating - either I'll be feeding Ben or keeping him out of mischief while hubby have his meals and then he'll take Ben out for a stroll around.

So yeah, that's about the few ways I pamper myself... pretty simple I guess. Just rest, read and/or eat.

What about you? How do you pamper yourself?

^** And btw, if you have the time, do watch this short video about the story of cosmetics.