I'm a full-time mummy

Welcome to the June 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Embracing Your Birth Experience

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have written about at least one part of their birth experience that they can hold up and cherish.

I blogged about both Benjamin's and Alyson's supernatural childbirth experiences before. For this month's Carnival of Natural Parenting, we have this topic to ponder on:

"It seems like there is so much pressure in the natural parenting community to have the “perfect” birth, but everyone’s definition of the “perfect” birth is different – and it certainly isn’t what happens for many women. This month we want to celebrate the miracle of birth no matter what it looks like. Pick at least one part of your birth experience that you can hold up and cherish and share it with us!"

Now, I for one, don't think I had the perfect birth for both my kids, but I do believe they are both supernatural. Why?

With my 1st child,

* Ben engaged himself just 2 hours before I gave birth (or I'd end up with C-sect cos breech position)

* I don't rely on painkillers other than Entonox (aka the laughing gas)

* I delivered Ben in 3 pushes! (well, first one not counted since it was wasted on my screaming like a banshee)

* I lost very little blood - according to my gynae, I only lose 250ml (a can of soft drink) of blood.

* I didn't even suffer for long from the contractions pain until I was at the hospital (which if I count from midnight to the point I delivered is just 4.5 hours!)

With my 2nd child,

* Alyson engaged herself and I finally have the chance to feel how a baby engaged feels like (and how painful it was when the contractions came)

* I delivered Alyson naturally

* I don't rely on painkillers other than Entonox (which was for a couple of seconds only)

* I delivered Alyson in 2 pushes!

* I lost very little blood about 250ml (a can of soft drink) which was the same case with Ben

* No episiotomy this round! Yeay!

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting! Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon June 12 with all the carnival links.)

• I Had A C-Section. So What! — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama rewrites her birth story now that she has worked through the feelings of inadequacy and disappointment of not having the “perfect” birth.
• The Perfect Birth — Kellie at Our Mindful Life reflects on how a birth can be far from what we imagined, but still perfect.
• Own Your Birth: My Hope For All Expectant Moms — Andrea at Tales of Goodness shares how she owned her birth spiritually (while navigating it physically) in order to have a joyous experience.
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: My Birth Experience — It wasn't what Lily at Witch Mom wanted, but it was everything she needed.
• The Painless Natural Homebirth of BabyE — Shannon at GrowingSlower wants women considering natural birth to know painless births are possible.
• Reflections on Jemma's Birth ... 20 Months Later — It took a second pregnancy for That Mama Gretchen to fully embrace her first birth experience.
• Loving My Unnatural Birth Experience — Erika at Cinco de Mommy cherishes her very first birth experience, in all its unnatural glory!
• Be Careful What you Wish for in Birth — Amber at Strocel.com had two births, and it was the one that went to plan that she struggled with embracing.
• Redeeming an unexpected hospital transfer — Lauren at Hobo Mama looks back at her first, interrupted home-turned-hospital birth, and finds the beauty in what happened.
• All of it — Laura from Pug in the Kitchen had to learn to embrace the whole experience of birth even though it meant being naked . . . with an audience.
• Birthing Dreams & Realities — Momma Jorje never had a "dream birth," but she wouldn't change a thing about her births.
• Memories of Birth: Calm Amidst the Storm — While neither of her children's births had been quite what she expected, Cynthia at The Hippie Housewife cherishes one moment in particular from each of her birth experiences.
• Embracing Our Birth Stories — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares a sensitive post on her recent birth which both did and didn't go 'to plan', and writes about the journey of coming to terms with the good and the bad.
• Two Beautiful Births — Sheila at A Gift Universe remembers how her mother brought out the beauty in each of her children's births, and tries to do the same with her sons' birth stories.
• Embracing My Supernatural ChildBirth Experiences... — Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy shares her fond memories on both her supernatural childbirth experiences
• Embracing the Hospital Birth Experience — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction believes that sometimes a medicated, induced hospital birth is the right choice for a natural parent.
• Carnival: Embracing Your Birth Experience — Stephanie at The Other Baby Blog embraces the birth experience from a paleobiologist's point of view and takes a look at how humans defy their anatomy.
• Reflections on My First Birth and Preparing for a Second — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares the strength she didn't realize she had until she gave birth to her son.
• becoming a mama - embracing my birth experience — Meegs at A New Day remembers the birth of her daughter Gwenivere, and the empowered feeling it left her with.
• What About Us? A Poem About Birth — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares a poem she wrote about healing from an unexpected and emotionally painful birth experience.
• Be a Man: One Father's View of Birth — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares her husband's advice to other fathers and partners.
• A Birth Monologue — Kat at MomeeeZen shares a monologue she wrote during the process of healing from her birth experiences.
• Forgiveness: My Birth Journey — Leah at The Crunchy Farm Baby discusses what happens when her planned homebirth doesn't end up the way she wanted, and explains her journey of forgiving herself for losing that "perfect" birth.
• Patching together a perfect birth — KrissyFair at Think Mama, Think learned that sometimes a perfect birth happens in pieces.
• Celebrating and Sharing the Possibilities of Perfect Birth — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle joyfully shares details of her perfect births and wishes to inspire a more positive cultural expectation about birth.
• Instinct - Embracing Your Birth Experience — Laura at Laura's Blog reflects on instinctual moments during and after the births of her two daughters.
• I was Foolish Then — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings describes how foolish lack of preparation for childbirth led to a feeling of powerlessness and fear, but that in the end she had her baby in her arms, and that's one thing she can celebrate.
• Sometimes no plan is the best plan — Tat at Mum in search contemplates that maybe she doesn't need a birth plan for her upcoming birth.
• Disturbing the peace — Kenna at Million Tiny Things thought she would be a calm, quiet baby-haver. Ha!
• Accepting the Unexpected During Birth — Emily at S.A.H.M i AM imagined herself laboring on a birthing ball but she never imagined where she'd really be most comfortable when the time came...
• Sacred This Time, Too — Kimber at The Single Crunch learned enough to know that the way she birthed wasn't they way she wanted to; but she also knew to enjoy it for what it was.
• The Birth Partner: A Great Natural Labor Companion — Justine at The Lone Home Ranger thinks that the secret to her pleasant natural labors was having a great support system.
• the Best Thing About My Labor Experience — Crunchy Con Mommy realizes that amidst all the things that seemed to go wrong with her labor, the love and support of her husband was the one thing she could always count on!
• Your Birth Was My Favorite — Dulce de leche describes some of the highlights from each of her four births and explains why despite the differences, they are all her favorites.
• Birth Story: Part One - Moon on a Stick! — Gentle Mama Moon tells the first part of her birth story to share some of the delight of labouring at home.
• Embracing My Birth Experience by Sharing My Birth Story — Dionna at Code Name: Mama made peace with her first birth by sharing the story with her son.
• Focusing on the Beauty of Birth — Julia at A Little Bit of All of It shares the beautiful aspects of her birth center water birth.
• A Joyful Induced Delivery — Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work notes the meditations and perspective that helped her achieve an unmedicated birth despite being induced for medical reasons.
• Finding Joy in an Imperfect Childbirth Experience — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells what she learned from her two very different childbirth experiences.
• What's to like about a c-section? — Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is glad she her second child at home, but she also cherishes much about the c-section she had four years earlier.
• What Story Will I Tell? — Rachael at The Variegated Life realizes that the way she tells the story of her second child's birth matters — and could be exhilarating.
• I Quietly Put My Hopes to Rest E — Erica at ChildOrganics shares her emotional ups and downs with the highly intervened birth of her special needs daughter, Bella.
• Tale of Six Births — Jessica at Instead of Institutions appreciates that unique challenges and joys of each of her births.
• Labouring naturally: nature’s gift — Caroline at stoneageparent describes the most beautiful, spiritual aspect of the labour of her son, the first stages along a bumpy road to giving birth.
• All The Woman I Am. — Lindsay at This Woman's Work shares a poem about letting go and surrendering during the thralls of labor.
• A twin birth story: embracing the unexpected — Megan at The Boho Mama shares her twin birth experience and how she found the silver lining when faced with preterm labor, premature birth, and a two-week NICU stay.
• Giving Birth With Eminem — Kerry at City Kids Homeschooling shares how fiery rap music contributed to an empowered homebirth with her third baby.
• Two Different Births — Cassie at There's a Pickle in My Life shares how she learned from her first birth experience and how to trust yourself and your body.
• Embracing Our Potential: Birth as a Metaphor — Sheila from A Living Family guest posts at Natural Parents Network and expresses how birth has served as a metaphor to help her through other experiences in life.
• Little Sister's Birth Story: Our VBAC Adventure — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama describes the recent birth story of her baby girl, her pride in an epidural-free VBAC, and how her story isn't exactly the birth experience she had planned for.
• A Journey in Birth Confidence — Shannon at The Artful Mama shares her experiences with labor during both of her sons' births.

Welcome to the Carnival of Tandem Nursing

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Tandem Nursing hosted by Mommying My Way. Our participants have shared their personal stories of the highs the lows and information on what to expect if tandeming is in your future. Please read to the end of each post to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

When I found out I was pregnant with Alyson, I surfed and Googled all the breastfeeding websites and forums to find out as much as I can about the possibilities of continuing on breastfeeding during pregnancy. That's because I was still nursing my 2 year++ old boy then.

I found some tips through some bloggy friends (Dionna at Code Name: Mama for sharing her tips and Twittering me, Dulce Chale for sharing her experience, Mama J for sharing her tips and emailing me and Germaine for referring me to Mama J) and also purchased 2 books which I find helpful: Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. These 2 books gave me the confidence to continue on nursing my boy throughout my pregnancy! (*Note: It is also because I have no risks or complications at all with my first and current pregnancy then)

Despite my breastmik stopped coming in at my 5th month into pregnancy, my boy nurses on! I cherished the moments I had while nursing him and actually resented the thoughts of my baby in my tummy - as if she is going to come between the wonderful bond I have with my boy. On the other hand, I also felt guilty as if I'm not paying 100% attention to the baby in my tummy as well... weird huh?

When Alyson was born on 2nd Sept 2011, my breastmilk came almost immediately! It was a breeze nursing her and there was not any chance for her weight to drop after the meconium was out as she was on my breastmilk since she was born! (unlike my boy who lost about 300 hundred grams on the 5th day). We left the hospital on day 2 and my problems started that very night.

My 2 year old wanted to nurse too when he saw me nursing the baby. I have no idea how to position my boy and the baby and I actually felt angry at my boy for wanting to nurse! Within the first 2 weeks, I was depressed and I reached out asking for help, telling my hubby and friends and bloggy pals that I am struggling and trying to cope with tandem nursing.

I think the first step of acknowledging and telling people I am struggling in tandem nursing greatly eases my own depression and tensions I placed on myself. Thank God I received advices, prayers, hugs and encouragement from friends and family members and I began to slowly get used to tandem nursing.

A month and a half after the birth of Alyson, I wrote another blog post about surviving my tandem nursing aversion. In that post, I also shared my own tips on how I overcome my nursing aversion. It is a good thing that I keep telling myself the aversion is all in my head and it is a waste and failure on my part if I give up just because of what's playing in my head!

At 3 months into tandem nursing, I wrote another update on my life tandem nursing 2 kids and how I get around to nursing them and using the opportunities to teach my toddler as well while I nursed them.

And now, close to 9 months into tandem nursing, my oh my... let me just pause here for a moment and reminisced back my 9 months journey into tandem nursing...

Wow oh wow...!!!

Never had I imagine I'll get to this stage where I sit back and goes 'Wow oh Wow!!!' 9 months into this crazy spectacular magnificent journey!  

I thank God for helping me getting through and to this stage and I feel happy being able to nurture my children as long as they want.

Ben at close to 39 months old now is down to one nursing a day, before his bedtime, that too for not more than a minute. Of course, there are times I can feel the let-down reflex when he suckles, but most of the time, he does it for comfort, just the act of being able to still nurse from mummy and he always unlatched when I tell him 'OK, enough already!'

As for Alyson, close to 9 months old, she has started her solids 2 weeks before she turned 7 months old and is currently on 2 times solid a day, the rest of her feedings are still on my direct breastfeeding, on demand, whenever she wants.

How long am I going to do this? I don't know... Like I said earlier, I feel happy being able to nurture and nourish my children, so, I will just take this one day at a time...

• My Tandem Nursing Journey: Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy is sharing her tandem nursing journey so far...
• Built for Two: No matter how much you read and plan, things may not always go as you expect. A few things that Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy wished she knew when she was planning to tandem feed her toddler and newborn.
• Tandem Nursing - Magic Cure?: Jorje of Momma Jorje had high expectations of tandem nursing easing her toddler daughter's transition from being the baby to being a big sister.
• Mutually Desirable - Navigating a Tandem Nursing Experience: Amy Willa at www.amywilla.com talks about limit setting and meditations that help her navigate an intense tandem nursing experience.
• My Adventure in Tandem Nursing: Alicia at Lactation Narration tells her story of nursing her daughter through pregnancy and then tandem nursing.
• 4 months in: the good/hard: Becca at Exile Fertility writes about the joys and struggles of having two nurslings 17 months apart.
• Tandem Nursing: One at a Time: When tandem nursing resulted in a nursing aversion, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children looked for ways to meet everyone's needs.
• Why Nurse a 4 Year Old?: One of the questions Dionna at Code Name: Mama keeps getting is, "but why breastfeed a four year old? What are the benefits?" Today she answers that question.
• My Hurt Feelings: Shannon at The Artful Mama shares how her first son reacted to nursing after the birth of his brother and the gift she received the last time he nursed.
• Carnival of Tandem Nursing: A Letter To Myself 7 Years Ago: Dulce de leche shares the advice and reassurance that she would have given to herself if she could go back in time.
• Nursing Both My Babies: Cassie at There’s a Pickle in my Lifeshares her experience with nursing and transitioning into tandem nursing. She also gives tips for struggles.
• Our Tandem Nursing Journey: Kim at Life-is-Learning describes her journey into tandem nursing and why it is important to her.
• Based on her own experience, Lauren at Hobo Mama dishes about the benefits and downsides to nursing multiple children.