I'm a full-time mummy

Welcome to the Carnival of Tandem Nursing

This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Tandem Nursing hosted by Mommying My Way. Our participants have shared their personal stories of the highs the lows and information on what to expect if tandeming is in your future. Please read to the end of each post to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

When I found out I was pregnant with Alyson, I surfed and Googled all the breastfeeding websites and forums to find out as much as I can about the possibilities of continuing on breastfeeding during pregnancy. That's because I was still nursing my 2 year++ old boy then.

I found some tips through some bloggy friends (Dionna at Code Name: Mama for sharing her tips and Twittering me, Dulce Chale for sharing her experience, Mama J for sharing her tips and emailing me and Germaine for referring me to Mama J) and also purchased 2 books which I find helpful: Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. These 2 books gave me the confidence to continue on nursing my boy throughout my pregnancy! (*Note: It is also because I have no risks or complications at all with my first and current pregnancy then)

Despite my breastmik stopped coming in at my 5th month into pregnancy, my boy nurses on! I cherished the moments I had while nursing him and actually resented the thoughts of my baby in my tummy - as if she is going to come between the wonderful bond I have with my boy. On the other hand, I also felt guilty as if I'm not paying 100% attention to the baby in my tummy as well... weird huh?

When Alyson was born on 2nd Sept 2011, my breastmilk came almost immediately! It was a breeze nursing her and there was not any chance for her weight to drop after the meconium was out as she was on my breastmilk since she was born! (unlike my boy who lost about 300 hundred grams on the 5th day). We left the hospital on day 2 and my problems started that very night.

My 2 year old wanted to nurse too when he saw me nursing the baby. I have no idea how to position my boy and the baby and I actually felt angry at my boy for wanting to nurse! Within the first 2 weeks, I was depressed and I reached out asking for help, telling my hubby and friends and bloggy pals that I am struggling and trying to cope with tandem nursing.

I think the first step of acknowledging and telling people I am struggling in tandem nursing greatly eases my own depression and tensions I placed on myself. Thank God I received advices, prayers, hugs and encouragement from friends and family members and I began to slowly get used to tandem nursing.

A month and a half after the birth of Alyson, I wrote another blog post about surviving my tandem nursing aversion. In that post, I also shared my own tips on how I overcome my nursing aversion. It is a good thing that I keep telling myself the aversion is all in my head and it is a waste and failure on my part if I give up just because of what's playing in my head!

At 3 months into tandem nursing, I wrote another update on my life tandem nursing 2 kids and how I get around to nursing them and using the opportunities to teach my toddler as well while I nursed them.

And now, close to 9 months into tandem nursing, my oh my... let me just pause here for a moment and reminisced back my 9 months journey into tandem nursing...

Wow oh wow...!!!

Never had I imagine I'll get to this stage where I sit back and goes 'Wow oh Wow!!!' 9 months into this crazy spectacular magnificent journey!  

I thank God for helping me getting through and to this stage and I feel happy being able to nurture my children as long as they want.

Ben at close to 39 months old now is down to one nursing a day, before his bedtime, that too for not more than a minute. Of course, there are times I can feel the let-down reflex when he suckles, but most of the time, he does it for comfort, just the act of being able to still nurse from mummy and he always unlatched when I tell him 'OK, enough already!'

As for Alyson, close to 9 months old, she has started her solids 2 weeks before she turned 7 months old and is currently on 2 times solid a day, the rest of her feedings are still on my direct breastfeeding, on demand, whenever she wants.

How long am I going to do this? I don't know... Like I said earlier, I feel happy being able to nurture and nourish my children, so, I will just take this one day at a time...

• My Tandem Nursing Journey: Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy is sharing her tandem nursing journey so far...
• Built for Two: No matter how much you read and plan, things may not always go as you expect. A few things that Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy wished she knew when she was planning to tandem feed her toddler and newborn.
• Tandem Nursing - Magic Cure?: Jorje of Momma Jorje had high expectations of tandem nursing easing her toddler daughter's transition from being the baby to being a big sister.
• Mutually Desirable - Navigating a Tandem Nursing Experience: Amy Willa at www.amywilla.com talks about limit setting and meditations that help her navigate an intense tandem nursing experience.
• My Adventure in Tandem Nursing: Alicia at Lactation Narration tells her story of nursing her daughter through pregnancy and then tandem nursing.
• 4 months in: the good/hard: Becca at Exile Fertility writes about the joys and struggles of having two nurslings 17 months apart.
• Tandem Nursing: One at a Time: When tandem nursing resulted in a nursing aversion, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children looked for ways to meet everyone's needs.
• Why Nurse a 4 Year Old?: One of the questions Dionna at Code Name: Mama keeps getting is, "but why breastfeed a four year old? What are the benefits?" Today she answers that question.
• My Hurt Feelings: Shannon at The Artful Mama shares how her first son reacted to nursing after the birth of his brother and the gift she received the last time he nursed.
• Carnival of Tandem Nursing: A Letter To Myself 7 Years Ago: Dulce de leche shares the advice and reassurance that she would have given to herself if she could go back in time.
• Nursing Both My Babies: Cassie at There’s a Pickle in my Lifeshares her experience with nursing and transitioning into tandem nursing. She also gives tips for struggles.
• Our Tandem Nursing Journey: Kim at Life-is-Learning describes her journey into tandem nursing and why it is important to her.
• Based on her own experience, Lauren at Hobo Mama dishes about the benefits and downsides to nursing multiple children.

Welcome to the May 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting With or Without Extended Family

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how relatives help or hinder their parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

This month's Carnival of Natural Parenting touches on the topic of parenting either with or without extended family. I am joining in the blog hop this time as I want to share my 2 cents worth of the pros and cons of parenting with extended family.

Now, a brief intro in my family: Hubby and I with our 2 kids stay with hubby's mum. Both my parents and my FIL passed away years ago and hubby is the last child in the family (the rest of his siblings have their own house and own family) so, it just seem natural that we ended up staying with his mum. I'll just list down the pros and cons of parenting with extended family for easier reading:

PROS aka The Good Part!

1. An extra helping hand!

With 2 kids, I can seriously say I do need an extra hand from time to time to help just watch over one of my kid for even a few minutes. As my 1st child is 38 months old now, I can trust leaving him on his own to play with his Lego or MegaBloks or just switched on the TV for a while so I could catch up with some paperwork (I help out on the admin side of hubby's business and there are times I need to prepare quotation, invoice, PO, accounting and even filing for tax submission) but I can't do that for my 8 months old girl yet.

So, when my MIL is around, I will chuck my daughter or my son (if my girl is asleep) and asked my MIL to take care of them for a while. And believe me, often I will get my MIL to take care of my daughter when I really really have to go to the toilet!

But then again, I can't always rely on my MIL as she has sleeping problems... she sleeps at 6-7am and wakes up at 12-1pm and there are times when she goes for her outing and I don't have extra set of helping hands. Oh well, these are the times when I will just have to let my child (especially my girl) wails while I finish up my tasks ASAP!

In summary, my MIL is a great help in the family, she cooks for our dinner meals and take cares of my kids when I really needed to (but not for long though)

2. Another point of view

Sometimes in the matter of childcare, another point of view is good so that you can see from a different perspective. You know how they always say old folks know more than you? Something like that, I guess...

CONS aka The Sucky Part!

1. Hindrance to disciplining our child

You know how often grandparents tend to spoil their grandchildren? Yeah... and somehow my kids (especially my boy) are good in knowing where and who to go to when they get into trouble. Who else but grandma! This is bad when we are trying to discipline our child and then you see my MIL rushing in to defend and protect our child.

When situations like this arise, we will tell MIL nicely and firmly to stay out of this as it is important for us to discipline him now rather than ignoring it and let the world discipline him next time when he's grown up!

2. Another point of view

Yes, I mentioned this as a good thing, but it can also be a bad thing. Old folks ESPECIALLY CHINESE tend to believe in old beliefs without roots or basis and logic. Whenever you tell them something and why you do this, they will tell you don't because people long ago do so and so. When you asked them who tell them or why mustn't we do that, they can't answer you but just tell you 'Just listen to what old folks tell you, don't be disrespectful!'

3. Bad influence

Yes, grandparents can be a bad influence to our children. Many times we caught MIL giving Ben sugary snacks and even soft drinks and it takes A LOT of repeating and arguments to get the message across to her. Sigh, and with child number 2 now, I have twice caught my MIL feeding her crackers, despite telling her not to give her those foods.

There you go...

I think it is good to have extended family around. It gives a sense of belonging to a larger scale of family root and we are also showing and displaying to our children how we should be treated when we get old one day...

So what about you? Do you parent with or without extended family?

Seriously, I am so excited to be hosting tons of giveaways for my upcoming giveaways which I have happily decided to name it as:

Now read up properly!!!

Attention to my blog / Facebook / Twitter fans or followers, you have got to mark down your calendar because from 1st of May 2012 (12.00am EST, that will be 12pm 1st May 2012 for Malaysia time where I am), you will really want to join my giveaways for these prizes:

I know right? Now are you as excited as I am? The giveaways will run for 1 month, ending on 31st May 2012. So, really, lock down your calendars OK?

Now a little note for bloggers: If you are looking for ways to build up your traffic and stats, do consider signing up for my giveaways. I do not, I repeat, I DO NOT charge you any single cent for this. In fact, I am even offering you a free link (either Facebook or Twitter) which I will include on my giveaway widgets (depending on which one you signed up for) in exchange that you really really promise to share my giveaways on your blog as well.

I will email you the HTML codes (all prepared nicely) few days before 1st May so that you can have the time to schedule and post the giveaway(s) on your blog. I do however will not hesitate to remove your link if I find out you did not share my giveaways on your blog.

See, where else can you find such a good mummy blogger right? I liaised with the sponsors and secured the prizes, I prepared the giveaway widgets and posts, I send you the HTML codes for the giveaway posts, and yes, I even allow you to enter the giveaways as well!

Don't wait too long, I'm going to close the sign ups once we have the required amount of bloggers in each giveaways!

The sign up form is HERE! (Link removed upon completion of giveaways)